The Honorable Self (2020) is about psychology and coping with stress through morality, character, and values. It builds on our 2019 book, Using Psychology to Cope with Everyday Stress. Recent events - the coronavirus pandemic, protests and riots in some cities, and questionable morality, truthfulness, and character in political leaders got us to thinking that the importance of having a social conscience, values, and ethical standards did not receive adequate attention in the 2019 book as important elements of the coping process.
Like our earlier work, when dealing with stressors in life, in The Honorable Self we emphasize the importance of accepting reality and your emotions; being accountable for all your actions, not just your mistakes; and developing an action plan of based on confidence and patience in carrying out rational, organized, realistic, and logical actions.
In The Honorable Self we add three important requirements for effective coping: Basing your life on a set of values that provide you with a sense of personal direction; working from humility and the realization that coping can't be "all about me"; and having empathy toward others that comes from service to them.
In this brief book, we explain how Acceptance, Accountability, Values, Humility, Empathy, and Planning provide the key to understanding who you are, and how you fit in the challenging adventure of living your life. Your satisfaction and productivity are greatly enhanced when you keep before you the importance of maintaining your honor - your integrity, ethics, decency, morality, and conscience - and finding your Honorable Self.
In your daily life you are regularly confronted with challenges that bring you stress. You lose loved ones, you get bored and frustrated at work, you have kids, you get a dog, you care for elderly parents, the water heater breaks, a storm damages your house, your neighbor is a pain, important relationships "go sour," and the list goes on and on. These and other stressors arouse troublesome emotions like anxiety, jealousy, anger, love, depression, and grief.
If you’re like many folks, as you struggle to cope with stress you make some poor choices: you decide your emotions are the enemy, and you seek to deny them; you try to avoid facing stressful events, and search in vain for happiness; you overlook the reality of the present and focus on past comforts; you develop irrational thoughts that make you the center of it all.
In "Using Psychology to Cope with Everyday Stress," we show you how to cope without making these and other mistakes. We show you how to become passionate about your life, how to connect with others, and how to act more purposely. We show you the importance of empathy, humility, and values in following a life path that will help you feel productive, and bring you a sense of satisfaction.
Subtle suicide and many other psychological problems have their roots in an inability to deal with stress. In fact, virtually all emotional dysfunctions can be boiled down to one question: What are you avoiding?
In The Power of Stress Enhancement, we show you how to stop avoiding stress. We show you how to use the energy of stress to commit yourself more fully to your life.
Using case studies from our files, The Power of Stress Enhancement shows that the only two things in life you can directly control are your thoughts and your actions. Our book can help you accept that basic fact. You can get on the road to healthy psychological functioning, and develop resistance to dangers like subtle suicide and other emotional problems.